I do not want die

To my sister

Today, I made coffee without using coffee · maker.
Slowly, taking time, I dropped the thinned hot water to coffee beans.

Seven years have passed since my mother died. My mother died just before her birthday.
Tomorrow is my mother 's birthday.

"I thought I'd do earlier to celebrate your  Mother's 77th birthday "
"I have experience with my parents' death, but my sister is the first time ..."

I remember having a story with my uncle and my aunt outside the hospital.
And my uncles, aunt, have died.

I will soon be on a 60th birthday.
Teenagers, twenties, thirties, forty generations, fifty generations flew away like visions in no time.

From now on, Japan is about to become the season of cherry blossoms.
From time to time, I enjoyed various cherry blossoms.
The cherry blossoms were scattered, and the remaining cherry blossoms also scattered.

The face of my mother, my uncle, my aunt lost their blood and only the white bones remained.
But I will soon forget that solemn fact.

For me only, I am prisoned by a deep-seated superstition that such a thing does not come.
And I think that it is not only for me, but for all people.

I am worried about fire, disaster, and lack of money. They surely will not visit 100 percent surely. However, it seems that I am trying not to see my future 100% sure. That is my own death. That is your own death.

What is going on behind the wall where I absolutely strike?

I want to make it clear. I do not want to waste cherry blossoms, my mother, my uncle, my aunt who scattered earlier.

I want to have another cup of coffee. Slowly, taking time to make delicious coffee.

Hiroyuki